


"In the Game"

by WeirdItalianPlumber



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Scene, F/M, smut but not super detailed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-10 02:17:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20127727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeirdItalianPlumber/pseuds/WeirdItalianPlumber
Summary: What if Dee had said "yes" to Charlie in Rules the World?





	"In the Game"

**Author's Note:**

> I'm taking one for the team and posting a chardee fic. If you don't like the pairing don't read. In fact, why are you even clicking this, and purposefully exposing yourself to it? There's some saying like "hate is letting someone live rent-free in your head". Don't do that to yourself.
> 
> I'm surprised there doesn't seem to be any fics on this. Especially considering the episode aired 7 years ago. As much as I generally plan to avoid writing smut, it had to be done. Even though I know of some writers who could handle it better. Sorry for any errors, especially punctuation, but I've been writing final papers all week, and just don't have it in me to edit if it's not for a grade. There's a few sentences that are bugging me and I hope they don't stand out too much.
> 
> Thanks to my friend for motivating me to write this. I don't want to mention them in case they want to remain out of this, but you know who you are *finger guns*
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling and on with the story...

“That was good.” 

“Was it?” 

“I think.” 

Once the shock of his words wear off she feels annoyed. Then intrigued. She could show him what good really is, something way better than his little button fantasy. 

They’re both filthy, and the thought somehow disgusts and appeals to Dee. Knowing that he wants her in this state. Even though it doesn’t mean much considering his standards for himself are so low. 

The image of forcing him into her shower plays through her head, adding their dirty clothes to the messy piles scattering her apartment. She can practically feel the softness as she runs her fingers through his freshly shampooed hair, feel his hands rubbing her expensive body soap down her body, the contrast of his rough hands and the silky liquid. Feel their shared body heat adding to the steam from the hot water, mixing with sweat and fogging up her mirrors even more. _ Goddamn _ , she really needs to get laid. And here’s Charlie, willing, and _ offering _, to make it happen. 

“Yeah,” she says, “Okay.” 

He eyes her body again and nods. 

Sex with Dee. Charlie’s thought about it before. Twice, in fact. Each time becoming bolder than the last. The first was almost two decades ago- they were 20, only slightly broken and with big plans. Dee had finally lost her backbrace for good and had taken to wearing an array of revealing clothes, encouraging him to notice a body that’d been hidden for years. She had been bragging about how much dick she’s getting now, how irresistible she is. Charlie wonders for a moment what it’d be like to be with her that way. Wonders if she would even consider him an option. He downs his beer and hopes the thought will wash down, too. He never says anything. 

The second time wasn’t too long ago. During some scheme with dresses and sewing and some alluring sketches. He had been, rightfully, getting worked up over the scantily clad women. It’s not a proud moment, but he’d even… well. Sitting at a sewing machine in Paddy’s basement, he imagines another scenario with the woman. The room is getting warm, as he plays through a fantasy when Dee’s voice cuts through “Charlie!” He looks up at her, “What’re you doing...?” 

This time however, he senses a real opportunity and seizes it. They had settled into as much of a civil pattern as the gang gets. Dee had not only dropped her superiority façade, but had admitted to needing his help. She accepted him as an equal and making their team-up official. So when she says what _ consummate _ means, he says “So, we should have sex then?” 

She reaches out, slamming her laptop shut- she’s not risking anybody hearing this. There’s a worry about abandoning the game, losing her investments, letting someone else have the power. 

But she’s the one who’s winning- Dee’s certain none of those fat nerds are getting laid. 

Dee makes the first move. She places a hand over his dick, but it feels awkward and wrong. Charlie places a hand on her waist, but feels foolish and pulls back. Dee tries a kiss, but it’s no help. This close she can see every freckle and speck of dirt, can smell Paddy’s and cheese on him. It’s quick before they pull awkwardly apart. The pair observe each other for a moment, before breaking into a grin and giggling at how stupid this decision was, feeling like real friends for a moment. Dee looks down at her hands resting in her lap, when she looks up Charlie’s scratching at his ear, a habit she’s learned means he’s nervous. Before she can make a joke, Charlie moves in and kisses her again, hand resting on her upper arm as he’s casually done so many times before. 

He’s not an exceptional kisser, but his desperation is enough to fuel her. Dee slowly rises to her feet, and Charlie follows like a magnet. 

They make it to her bedroom and Dee backs Charlie to the still unmade bed. He sits, and they resume kissing hoping for the awkwardness to fade. It’s not long before they gradually melt into an easy rhythm. 

Charlie’s hand slides up from where it’d been resting on Dee's hip, sliding under her thin shirt and cupping a breast. There’s a split-second when Charlie worries maybe he’s crossed a line, before Dee inhales against his mouth- something he takes as a good sign. He’s focusing on keeping up with her mouth and tongue, the feeling of Dee’s leg pressing against his crotch, when she pulls away just enough to demand, “What’re you doing?” 

Charlie’s eyes snap open as he’s taken out of the moment, “Huh?” 

“Can you really not-? Here.” She guides his stilled hand to move again, gently squeezing, running a thumb over a nipple 

Dee rests a hand on his chest and Charlie briefly wonders if she can feel his heart pounding, giving away his nerves and excitement. Her hand slowly travels down, finally resting on the button of his jeans, and his dick twitches at the close proximity of her fingers. 

Dee’s experienced hands are quick, unzipping his pants and wrapping around his hardening cock. It’s Charlie’s turn to gasp as she begins stroking almost tortuously slowly. Charlie begins relaxing and melting into the mattress. When her warm hand disappears, he opens his eyes to see Dee standing again. 

Curious, Charlie props himself up on an elbow to watch. She digs in her sidetable before retrieving something and tossing it onto his chest, “Here,” she commands. He picks it up to inspect and feels his heartbeat speed up, “Oh,” he murmurs, “Right. That’s, uh, that’s part of sex.” The nerves make his voice go up at the end. 

Dee stops undressing to glare at him, “Goddammit, Charlie. What is it with guys and-.” 

“No, it’s not that,” Charlie begins, “It’s just... I don’t really, I’m not good at...” He doesn’t want to say it, doesn’t know how to without sounding like an idiot. 

Thankfully, she catches on. “Oh,” she says, not looking angry anymore and sparing him any looks of judgment. She takes the condom from between his fingers, deciding to put on a real show. She opens the square package, placing the ring just inside her mouth, resting between her lips and teeth. 

Charlie gives her a concerned look, "What’re you-,?" She smacks his hand away, bending down and grasping his cock. She can feel his whole body tense as she places her mouth over the tip. She slowly unrolls the condom as she takes him in. 

She looks up, and he’s watching her, like it’s the most amazing thing he’s ever seen. Watching her lips wrapped around him, her breasts as she moves. 

She squeezes her lips tighter at the base, running up and down, two, three, four times. Forcing any air out, and enjoying being the cause of his little moans. 

“Shit, Dee," he breathes, looking impressed. 

She pulls off, and he whines at the loss of warmth, "That's it?" 

She stands up, dropping her panties to the floor and scoffing, "No. You’re gonna get me off.” 

She climbs on the bed, hovering over him, bare legs pressed against his. He instinctively grasps her hips as she settles on top of him, unsure if he was worried about her falling or because the desire to touch was too overwhelming. Charlie suddenly doesn’t get all the times they criticized her, calling her too big or too lanky because right now he loves the light pressure of her weight resting on him, her warmth on his skin. Charlie runs his hands down her long legs, feeling the soft hairs. 

Dee bends down to kiss him again, with a fierceness that lights up every feral instinct he has, wrapping one arm around her shoulders while his free hand grasps at her ass. Dee nibbles at his bottom lip, as their sweat-slick bare chests press together. Charlie feels Dee gripping his hair, gently tugging with one hand as the other rests between them, rubbing at herself. 

It’s both gross and hot, and Charlie wants to simultaneously look away and get a better view. His latter wish is granted when she sits up. 

Her skin is flushed, he notices. It would be so easy to insult her now, hair wild, no makeup and dark circles. But it all works to make her eyes look so blue, lips reddening to a bright pink. She looks kind of pretty, in a Dee way. She’s looking back at him, with the same look of curiosity and awe and Charlie’s suddenly aware that he’s here too, fully visible, and for one of the first times ever becomes self-conscious of how he might appear. But Dee seems to enjoy his look of being completely undone and messy. 

“You ready?” She breathes, cocking a suggestive eyebrow. The haze of arousal leaves him confused- he can’t imagine anything better than this. 

Dee rises slightly then positions his cock to sink onto. “Holy shit,” Charlie hears himself say, but it doesn’t sound like his voice. 

Sex has always been about herself. Getting what she needs, physically, materially or mentally. But there’s something about knowing she has the ability to make him feel this good that she’s enjoying. She slowly starts moving, breathing and speed steadily increasing. 

Charlie grasps a handful of blankets, his free hand fluttering then landing to rest on Dee; Little gasps and moans slipping through his lips. He’d probably feel a little embarrassed if it wasn’t for the similar noises Dee is making. 

The cacophony of skin on skin and moans of pleasure is oddly melodic. It’s a reminder of how gross and weird sex is, but what he finds even weirder is how much he’s enjoying it anyway. 

Warmth is spreading through his whole body and making him even desperate for more. Despite the fact that he’s already balls-deep, Charlie finds that he wants to bury himself somehow even deeper into her. Hips twitch up, and he hears a soft “_ fuck _” above him followed by, “Do it again.” 

He does so and is rewarded by a gasp. Charlie does so a third time without instruction. 

He feels Dee grinding down onto him, the wetness as she rubs herself with her fingers and his hot skin. She moves roughly and determined as every muscle tenses, before shouting and tightening around his cock. 

He watches her, completely unraveling and vulnerable. Every squeeze sending a new wave of pleasure until Charlie is pushed over the edge with a moan and shuddering breath. 

Dee flops down next to him on the bed, shoving random piles to the floor. They lay side-by-side in silence, barring their heavy breaths. 

Charlie reaches down to discard the condom, but Dee moves quicker. “Let me do it. I don’t need you making a mess of my bed,” though her voice is much gentler than usual. Moments later they’re laying next to each other again, both knowing this comfort is about to be replaced by awkwardness. 

“That was-,” 

“Yeah.” 

“We can’t-,” 

“No.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, if you made it to the end Congrats and Thank You!
> 
> It feels so wrong to write anything negative about Dee's appearance because I never think that, she pulls off the messy look so well. Also, I'm convinced it's impossible for Kaitlin to look bad. 
> 
> Just some notes:  
I don’t mean anything bad by “fat nerds”, but you know how the gang has said similar things before.  
I’m not trying to make Charlie seem dumb or naïve, just inexperienced.  
I stole most of that scene from another fic I wrote, but I really like it. And we all know that’s a trick Dee could do.  
The ending is supposed to be “-can’t do this again”, “-can’t tell the gang”. Something like that.  
I like the idea that one reason Charlie keeps telling her she's "not pretty" is because he thought she was.


End file.
